Hockey Chump: March 2011

Thursday

Hockey Goals: Smyth, Suter and Amateur

Hockey Goals:
Smyth, Suter and Amateur

It’s the best hockey night of the week – time for Hockey Chump’s highlight hockey goals from this past week. This collection features the likes of a vintage Ryan Smyth, a careless Ryan Suter, and a random guy from a men’s hockey league pulling off some pretty sweet moves. Check ‘em out below and remember – sharing is caring.

Enjoy!

Ryan Smyth of the LA Kings breaks some ankles with this spin-o-rama against the Colorado Avalanche:

Ryan Suter of the Nashville Predators makes the list for all the wrong reasons, with this Lionel Messi – esque soccer kick in to his own net in a game against the Anaheim Ducks (goal went to Corey Perry):

And don’t ask me how I found this one, but it’s definitely worth showing. This highlight comes from some random men’s hockey league game. I don’t know the names of the teams, the players or the league for that matter, but I do know an awesome goal when I see one:

Wednesday

Hockey Music: Quack Attack – Mighty Ducks Gangsta Rap

Hockey Music:
Quack Attack – Mighty Ducks Gangsta Rap

I rarely use the word “epic”, but I’m going to make an exception for this one here. This is called “Quack Attack: Mighty Ducks Gangsta Rap” and its by Lil Deuce Deuce and it's mother f'in "EPIC". It’s all about the Mighty Ducks movies and in short, the video is ridonculous. Plain and simple.

Some of the great liners include:

Emilio Estevez – He played the coach of the Mighty Ducks
He was a hard ass lawyer
Didn’t give a fuck
But the Five-O caught him
Driving drunk
And made him coach a team who really stunk.
It was a part of his community service
But all this hockey shit made him nervos
Coach Bombay played as a kid
But he missed the shot
And lost the championship!
Now years later he’s the coach of the Ducks
And he’s got a bunch of kids
Who fucking suck!

And

Mutha-fuckin Ducks
Flyin-V
Celebrating
Flawless victory

And

We will fuck you up
With a Knuckle Puck

You need to watch this in order to enjoy its full awesomeness. If you like, it please make sure to share the link (and get the Hockey Chump name out there ;-) whether it be via Twitter, Facebook, smoke signals, whatever! Enjoy:

Sing. Dance. Play hockey!

Tuesday

Hockey Quote: Doug Weight

Hockey Quote:
Doug Weight

New York’s Newsday is reporting that 40-year-old New York Islanders captain Doug Weight is done for the season (he’s been out since November from an injury that caused nerve damage in his back and muscle atrophy in his left leg) and that he may also hang up his skates for good.

In this week’s hockey quote of the week, here’s what Weight had to say:

Where he’s at now:

"I would lean more toward retirement than I would playing," he said. "But by no means have I made that decision. I want to make sure my mind's right, and I think I've earned that. I want to make sure that's what I want. I don't what this team needs right now, but I want to sit back and see how things go here and see how I feel."

Once he’s made the decision to retire:

"I would love to be a part of hockey when I'm done," Weight said. "Those are things you cross when you get to those roads. I think our relationship is good, and I've been treated great here (with the Islanders), so when it's time to move on, we'll figure those things out. If it works out that'll be wonderful. If not, I still hold this organization in the highest regard."

Nice to hear the Islanders get some praise for once.

Okay, so let’s take a look at the numbers. Is Doug Weight a Hall of Famer? 20 seasons in the NHL for a total of 1238 games. During that time, he’s put in 278 goals, with 755 assists for 1033 points. He also racked up 970 penalty minutes (not that that factors in, but it’s always something I like to consider). In 97 playoff games, he has 23 goals, 49 assists for 72 points and 94 penalty minutes. Weight won the Stanley Cup in 2006 as a member of the Carolina Hurricanes, when they beat his former team, the Edmonton Oilers (where he played his best years) four games to three.

Weight is definitely going into the USA Hockey Hall of Fame as one of the Country’s all-time top power forwards, but I think he’s on the fence for the NHL Hall of Fame. His stats are only okay – he was in top-10 scoring only once – and he has no awards to his name. In short, he was consistently good throughout his career, but rarely was he great. He’ll probably go down as one of the best second line players to have played the game.

Monday

Hockey Photos: Fleury, Marleau, Bissonnette and More

Hockey Photos:
Fleury, Marleau, Bissonnette and More

Another Monday, another collection of the best hockey photos from this past week in the NHL. A cool mix of on-ice with a splash of off-ice, too. Enjoy:

Pittsburgh Penguins goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury goes head over heels to stop this shot by Mike Santorelli of the Florida Panthers:

Ty Conklin, goaltender for the St. Louis Blues, gets loose with a football before his team’s game against the Minnesota Wild. Someone should tell him that he doesn't have to worry about trying to look thin under all that equipment:

This has to be an awesome feeling – Teddy Purcell of the Tampa Bay Lightning gets a hand – or 15 – on his way out to his pre-game skate in a game against the Carolina Hurricanes:

Jan Hejda gets things going for the Columbus Blue Jackets before their game against the Phoenix Coyotes:

Check out this freeze frame – Patrick Marleau of the San Jose Sharks scores against Miikka Kiprusoff of the Calgary Flames. If you look really close, you can see that the puck is juuuuuust about to cross the line:

One can only imagine what this conversation between the St. Louis Blues Cam Janssen and Phoenix Coyotes Paul Bissonnette was all about. I’m assuming it didn’t have to do with kittens:

Cool fish-lens view of Los Angeles Kings goaltender Jonathan Bernier before the team’s game against the Calgary Flames:

Sunday

5 Hockey Players - Awesome in Other Sports

5 Hockey Players Who . . .
Would Be Awesome in Other Sports

This is a new feature on the Hockey Chump. It is, in essence, a lazy weekend list. It’s a random subject and five players who I think fit the bill. There are only brief explanations after each player. Why? Because there’s hockey to be watched. And I’m lazy.

Think I’m right? Think I’m wrong? Let me know at hockeychump@gmail.com. If you like what you see on this site, “Like” the Hockey Chump on Facebook to have (almost) daily updates sent to your newsfeed, or follow the site on Twitter.

Anyone who’s read this site before knows that I’m pretty damn adamant about how great hockey is compared to all the other sports out there; specifically, the fact that it incorporates the best of all the other sports into one compact, completely amazing game to watch.

That said, I thought it’d be fun to list five players who I think could make it in the other sports out there. Enjoy:

Zdeno Chara, Boston Bruins
Basketball – Duh.

Mike Cammellari, Montreal Canadiens
Baseball – Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Cal Clutterbuck, Minnesota Wild
Football – You ever see Clutterbuck in warm-ups? He randomly throws himself against the glass while he’s waiting for a puck. Kid just likes to hit things (explains why he’s head and shoulders above the rest of the league in hits).

George Parros, Anaheim Ducks
MMA/Boxing/Karate/Street Fighting – The NHL’s leader in fighting majors likes to hit things, too – his fist into other players faces.

Michael Grabner, New York Islanders
Track and Field – Skates or no skates, one thing’s for sure – Grabner sure can move.

Hockey Music: Lightning Goal Song

Hockey Music:
Lightning Goal Song

In continuing my hardly planned out, entirely random trip around the league to share with you each team’s goal song, this week I’m going to the St. Pete Times Forum, home to the Tampa Bay Lightning.

I could go on and on and on about all the firepower and goal scoring talent that the Tampa Bay Lightning have on their roster this season, but that would be kind of stating the obvious, right? I mean, we all know that Steven Stamkos is sick-nasty with his whole “I can score from anywhere on the rink” skills and Martin St. Louis has transformed into quite the set-up man this season and that Vinny Lecavalier has decided to stop sucking all of a sudden.

So rather than go on about this three-headed monster of a team that will probably go deep in the playoffs this postseason, let’s talk goal songs. The Lightning introduced a new goal song this season, a departure from their old “Rock and Roll Part 2” ways. The song is called “Fluxland” and its by Gaby D. Galstaun. It’s a bass-driven, techno-heavy sort of number that I think will sooner get the fans in the stands doing the fist pump when Stamkos buries his 112th goal of the season, rather than jumping out of their seats chanting in unison (the latter of which, has always been my preferred “type” of goal song).

Take a listen below and let me know what you think:

Sing. Dance. Play hockey!

Hockey Music: Ducks Goal Song

Hockey Music:

Ducks Goal Song

In continuing my hardly planned out, entirely random trip around the league to share with you each team’s goal song, this week I’m going to the Honda Center in Anaheim, the official home to the Anaheim Ducks.

Boy oh boy – could the Western Conference be any bit tighter right now? The Anaheim Ducks sit in 7th place, just 2 points ahead of the 9th-place Calgary Flames and 3 points ahead of the 10th-place Dallas Stars. Personally, I would love to see the Ducks make the post-season – I feel like they’re an underrated team that, with the likes of Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry leading the way, always come out and play an aggressive, gritty style. In the playoffs, this can lead to upsets, and take a team further in the playoffs than anyone had originally expected (gotta have love for the underdogs).

But I digress. This post is about the team's home goal song, which is "Bro Hymn" by Pennywise, a classic song by the appropriately California-based, punk-rock band, and a celebration anthem that they share with the likes of another gritty, down-and-dirty type of team, the Philadelphia Flyers. Take a listen below:

Sing. Dance. Play hockey!

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Hockey Goals

Click on any of the links below to be taken to the page.

Alexander Burmistrov

Jason Hallman (and team)

Kid from Edison High School

Hockey Music

Click on any of the links below to be taken to the page.

Team Goal Songs:
Anaheim Ducks

Atlanta Thrashers

Boston Bruins

Buffalo Sabres

Calgary Flames

Carolina Hurricanes

Chicago Blackhawks

Colorado Avalanche

Columbus Blue Jackets

Dallas Stars

Detroit Red Wings

Edmonton Oilers

Florida Panthers

L.A. Kings

Minnesota Wild

Montreal Canadiens

Nashville Predators

New Jersey Devils

New York Islanders

New York Rangers

Ottawa Senators

Philadelphia Flyers

Phoenix Coyotes

Pittsburgh Penguins

San Jose Sharks

St. Louis Blues

Tampa Bay Lightning

Toronto Maple Leafs

Vancouver Canucks

Washington Capitals

Hockeygods.com:
Black and Yellow (Pittsburgh Penguins)

Carey Price “Tik Tok”

"Highly Unlikely" by MC Five Hole

“Love to Hear the Boos..." by MC Five Hole

Random:

Cheering for my City

I'm on the Clones

International Lover

Bands/Musicians that Support Hockey:

Bare Naked Ladies

Boils

Dropick Murphys

Hockey

Propagandhi

Rob Zombie

Snoop Dogg

Stompin' Tom Connors

Subplot A

Three Days Grace

Tragically Hip

Warren Zevon

Zamboni's

Hockey Trivia/Video/Archived News

Click on any of the links below to be taken to the page.

Hits:

Byfuglien Hit on Pronger

Eric Staal Hit on Marc Staal

Niklas Hjalmarsson Hit

Ovechkin Hit on Subban

Funny/Cool:

James Wisniewski Gesture

Mike Cammalleri Slash

NHL 2011 Season Preview

Ovechkin ESPN Commercial

Trivia:

First Goalie to Wear a Mask

Goalies Scoring Goals

Misspelled Names on the Stanley Cup

NCAA Hockey History

New York Hockey Players

Stanley Cup Finals

Stanley Cup Winners

Toronto Maple Leafs Invite

Underwater Hockey

What does the “H” stand for in the Canadiens logo?

Who invented the hockey slapshot?

Who’s scored the most goals in a single game?

Archived News:

Saturday

Hockey News

An archive of hockey news stories covered on the Hockey Chump. They’re in the order of newest to old.

Matt Cooke Suspension

Trade Predictions

Peter Forsberg Retires Again

Kris Versteeg Traded to Flyers

Heritage Classic

2011 NHL All-Star Rosters

2011 NHL All Stars Named

Items Stolen from Pat Burns Funeral

Rick Rypien Leaves the Canucks Again

The Northern Classic

Hockey Chump is Online

Rick Rypien Suspended

Darcy Tucker Retires

Top Free Agent Signings

Bergenheim Signs with the Lightning

Analyzing the Simon Gagne Trade

Free Agent Signings

NHL 2010 Draft Results

NHL Draft – Final Analysis

Hawks Trade Byfuglien

Halak Traded to Blues

Chicago Blackhawks Stanley Cup Parade...

History Will Be Made

Stanley Cup Playoff Ratings

New Stanley Cup Commercial

Great Article Comparing Toews and Ric...

When No One Won the Stanley Cup

Hockey and Traumatic Brain Injury

Hockey Trivia About the Bruins Loss t...

Game 7 Preview: Bruins and Flyers

Dirtiest Moment in Stanley Cup History

Second-round Re-cap

Hockey Facts and Trivia about Bruins

New Stanley Cup Commercial

Great Article Comparing Toews and Richards

When No One Won the Stanley Cup

Hockey and Traumatic Brain Injury

Hockey Trivia About the Bruins Loss to the Flyers

Game 7 Preview: Bruins and Flyers

Dirtiest Moment in Stanley Cup Histor...

Second-round Re-cap

Hockey Facts and Trivia about Bruins ...

Second-round Stanley Cup Playoff Pred...

NHL to Scrimmage Against the KHL

NHL to Change Shootout Rules

Parody Will Be Made . . . All Across the Web

Players Beat Coach After Winning Cham...

Mike Modano Set to Retire?

Blackhawks Sniff Out a New Way to Jinx Themselves

Rangers, Islanders among 11 teams changing their Third Jerseys

NHL Board of Governors Approves Headshot Penalty

3D Hockey

Ovechkin Suspended (AGAIN)!!!

Funny Chris Chelios Lines

2010 NHL Trade Deadline - Winners and Losers

Oilers Rookie Class

Thursday

Hockey Goals: Subban, Hendricks, Briere

Hockey Goals:
Subban, Hendricks, Briere

It’s Thursday – the best day in the hockey week! Why? Because this is the day that the Hockey Chump serves up the best hockey goals of the week.

Check out this sweet threesome, featuring P.K. Subban, Matt Hendricks and Danny Briere. Enjoy:

Montreal Canadiens defenseman P.K. Subban does it all on this goal, going all the way back to the blue line before heading back in to score:

Watching Washington Capitals forward Matt Hendricks pull off this shootout goal had even me faked out five ways from Friday:

Philadelphia Flyers forward Danny Briere shows some amazing eye-hand coordination goal on a pass from the point from teammate Kimmo Timonen:

Bonus Clip!

I can't help but show this clip – while the goal’s not really anything special to watch (though it was the first of his career), watching Montreal Canadiens forward Ryan White gives it his all against the Minnesota Wild and go the distance to score the rare Gordie Howe Hat Trick (goal + assist + fight) is just something that can't be missed:

Wednesday

Hockey Music: Red, Black, Yellow

Hockey Music:
Red, Black, Yellow

Similar to the MC Five Hole song I posted a few weeks ago – “Black and Yellow (Pittsburgh Penguins)” – this week’s hockey song of the week is a play off Wiz Khalifa’s “Black and Yellow”. It’s called “Black, Red, Yellow” and it’s by Terell Safadi. The song itself was tipped off to me by a reader who, unfortunately, didn’t give me their name. (Thank you Anonymous!!!)

This version of the Wiz Khalifa’s song has to do with Sadafi’s love for Vancouver and the Canucks. There aren’t many hockey-related quotes in the song, but some of the lyrical gems that this aspiring MC drops include:

Yeah, uh huh,
that’s my team,
before it was blue and green
it was Black Red Yellow Black Red Yellow Black Red Yellow Black Red Yellow.

and

Number 1
Number 1
like Luongo

In a word - genius.

Personally, the original song is only okay but hey, I’ll listen to anything that represents the game I love. Hope you do too. Enjoy “Red, Black, Yellow”.

Sing. Dance. Play hockey!

Share

Tuesday

Hockey Quotes: Matt Cooke

Hockey Quotes:
Matt Cooke

Oh jeeze, are people beginning to sympathize with Pittsburgh Penguins forward Matt Cooke? He was suspended yesterday for the rest of the season plus the first round of the playoffs – a minimum of 14 games – for a blatant elbow to the head of New York Rangers defenseman Ryan McDonagh. Cooke spoke to the press about the incident, the suspension and his need to change the way he plays the game:

On the message he wants out there:

"I realize and understand, more so now than ever, that I need to change,'' Cooke told the media. “That's what I want my message to be.''

On accepting responsibility:

"I made a mistake. I'm the one that's accountable for that. I take full responsibility for it,'' he went on. "I'm sorry to my teammates, my management, my coaching staff and my organization. It's something that, moving forward, I'll make different.''

On this being his second suspension of the season (he was also suspended for hitting Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman Fedor Tyutin from behind):

"They (the two suspensions) aren't the same. They're different plays and ... I want to change,'' Cooke said. "In the game against the Rangers, I had a chance to hit Brian Boyle in the middle of the ice and I didn't. I had a chance to hit Bryan McCabe, and he turned, so I didn't hit him. It's a learning process. It doesn't just stop with being suspended.”

On his elbow to the head of McDonagh:

"I'm fortunate that Ryan McDonagh wasn't hurt. I don't want to hurt anybody. That's not my intention. I know that I can be better,'' he continued. "As I just said, my actions will speak louder than words. That's what matters most.''

I’m sorry, but this wasn’t just a mistake by him, or even a lapse in judgment if you will. If you elbow someone in the head, you are trying to hurt that person. Plain and simple. As we all know, he’s doled out plenty of headshots in the past, along with spears, hits from behinds and so on. He knows what he’s doing out there. What sucks for him is that this time he got caught and actually got a fitting punishment. There’s no learning from this. If anything, he’s just going to try and get better at getting away with pulling off the cheap shots he’s become so well known for.

To the people out there saying, “Good for him” and “Oh wow, it sounds like this suspension has finally sunk in with Cooke,” I say , Are you serious? Get him out of the league . . . for good. Rather than teach him a lesson, make him a lesson for all the other players in the league to learn from. If you’re going to play this way, you don’t have a place in the NHL.

Monday

Hockey Photos: Manny Malhotra Injury and More

Hockey Photos:

Manny Malhotra Injury and More

As we do each week on the Hockey Chump, it’s time to look at some of the best photos from the past 7 days in the world of hockey. There are some great on-ice shots here, cool candid, behind-the scenes ones, too, and then there’s a really gruesome shot of Manny Malhotra after his injury. I saved that one to the end to give you fair warning that it is some pretty nasty stuff and if you don’t want to see it, you don’t have to. One thing’s f'sure though – you can never question the kid’s toughness. After all, he was actually skating to the bench when this picture took place!

Anyway, here you go. Enjoy some of the best shots from around the league:

Phoenix Coyotes captain Shane Doan jokes around with teammates Paul Bissonnette, Brett Maclean and Keith Yandle before their game against the Vancouver Canucks:

(Photo by Jeff Vinnick/NHLI via Getty Images)

Cool shot of New Jersey Devils goaltender Martin Brodeur making a save against the Washington Capitals:

(Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

That’s Colorado Avalanche players Brandon Yip (left) and Ryan O'Reilly (right) of the Colorado Avalanche running sprints prior to their game against the Vancouver Canucks. These kids never rest:

I want this sign for my bedroom (don’t think the wife will mind, right?) Kevin Klein of the Nashville Predators gets ready for his game against the Los Angeles Kings:

(Photo by John Russell/NHL via Getty Images)

New Vancouver Canucks forward Chris Higgins gets loose – really loose (I'd never be able to get my knee that high, not without dislocating something) – before his first game with his new team (he was traded from the Florida Panthers):

(Photo by Jeff Vinnick/NHLI via Getty Images)

And here it is. This injury came about after an errant pass deflected off Colorado Avalanche defenseman Erik Johnson’s stick and struck Malhotra in the face - just under the left eye. The injury necessitated surgery and has since sidelined Malhotra for the rest of the season + playoffs. There’s no telling yet if this is career-ending or, more importantly, if he’ll have his vision fully restored ever again:

(Photo by Jeff Vinnick/NHLI via Getty Images)

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